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  • Homeownership is Ghetto. There, I said it!

    Are you thinking of buying a home? If so, you need to be prepared for the challenges that come with homeownership. It’s not for the faint of heart! Owning a home is a huge responsibility, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the required maintenance and repairs.

    One of the biggest challenges that come with homeownership is the maintenance and repairs that are required. Every home needs regular upkeep to stay in good condition. This can be a challenge for some people, especially if they need to get used to dealing with home repairs. The average home improvement spending was $10,341 in 2021, a 25% increase from 2020. In 2021, spending on emergency repairs increased by 42%. The average repair cost is $2,231, with an average of 2.2 projects per household, says Better Homes & Gardens. This cost is expected to increase to $3,600 in 2022.

    What I found interesting about the increased cost is that it is attributed to the added stress on home systems from people being indoors more. Elon might not be a bad guy at all. Returning to work is the next best form of home maintenance and preservation.

    I thought I dodged the bullet when I decided to buy a new construction rather than an older home. Boy was I wrong! Let me tell the story of that one shitty day in my life as a homeowner.

    It started two days prior. I mean, if I had closely paid attention, the warning signs were there. My toilet was flushing kind of slower. However, I was not too concerned as long as what was put there slowly disappeared down the abyss. By the second day, my toilet started gurgling when I took a shower or ran the faucet for a long time. On day three, while brushing my teeth, I heard that dreadful gurgling sound again. The sound was so loud that I ran to the toilet to ensure it was not overflowing. Surprisingly the toilet was fine, but I could still hear the gurgling noise.

    I followed the sound, which led me to the shower. What I saw will forever traumatize me. All the sewage waste was backing up into my shower. And I mean all of it. Sink water, toilet water, toilet paper, poop, I mean everything. It’s been weeks since the entire shitstorm, and I still shudder thinking about it.

    When I was a renter, my first call would have been to the management company. As a homeowner, I was the management company. Between trying to isolate the plumbing and not having it spread to the tubs or other sinks, I had to make numerous calls to get an emergency plumber to my home (By the way, it took 8 hours). I will spare you all the dirty details. The repair was quick but costly. The cleanup took hours, about two gallons of bleach and all my bath towels. Despite sanitizing the shower repeatedly for days, I am still paranoid, and to this very day, I do not set foot in that shower without shower shoes on. Yes, I am scarred for life!

    My saving grace and what protected my bank account was that my home was still under warranty, and therefore the builder covered the cost. Although I am not convinced, I was told that construction debris was the cause for the clog and resulting shitshow.

    There are a few things that you can do to make this process more manageable if you are not under a home warranty. Set up an emergency home repair fund for when shit hits the fan or shower. First, you can create a budget for home repairs and maintenance. This will help you keep track of your expenses and ensure you’re not spending too much on repairs. You can also join a home repair club or group, which can provide support and resources when dealing with home repairs.

    Overall, homeownership is a huge responsibility. There are a lot of challenges that come with it, but there are also a lot of rewards. I am proud of my home and have achieved the American dream of homeownership. However, while the memory of “shitmageddon” is fresh, I will still think of homeownership as ghetto.

  • I love my kid, but I would be just as happy without him

    Yes, you’ve read the title correctly. I love my kid but would be just as happy without him. Does this make me a bad mom? Let’s argue.

    Okay, you may think I am selfish for writing this, but hear me out. I love my kid, I really do. But there are many moments when I wish I were back living my old kid-free life.

    Like when he would scream in the middle of the night, and I just want to sleep. Or when he’s throwing a tantrum in the supermarket, and I just want to buy my damn milk in peace. Or when he’s sick, and I have to cancel all my plans.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. But it’s not always easy or fun. In fact, there are times when it’s really tough and exhausting. So yes, I sometimes wish I didn’t have the responsibility of motherhood.

    Here is my defense or somewhat of an attempt at one. I never wanted children. I made it through my slutty twenties with not even a close call or near miss. As a matter of fact, an OB/GYN delivered the best news to me when she said I was unable to have children. I sailed into my thirties with no care in the world. I had just been promoted to a senior rank and was enjoying life. Work was hard, but I played even harder. Everything was swell!

    Can everyone remember the day they conceived their child or children? I can! It was a cold winter’s day. Nah, I am just kidding, it was in the spring, the Saturday before Easter. I should probably have been getting ready for church the next day, but I had something else on my mind. (I hope my granny is not reading this) Anyway, nine months later, my bambino was born on a cold winter’s day (for real this time).

    I was so excited to be a mom. I had visions of us going to the park, pushing him on the swings, and playing catch. Instead, I was up all night with a colicky baby who cried for hours on end. The only time he was quiet was when he was eating or sleeping. And even then, I had to use that downtime to get caught up on chores or other tasks left neglected.

    Here are some of the freedoms I lost since having a kid:

    • The ability to sleep through the night
    • Going to the bathroom in peace
    • Showering without an audience
    • Eating food that isn’t cold because I had to heat it up 3 times already
    • Wearing clothes that don’t have spit up or food on them (Glad I passed this phase)
    • Having a clean house
    • Spending my money on myself and not having to budget for the moocher
    • A social life (Although my time as a soccer mom was kind of lit. Here is a secret, it’s not coffee in the cup!)
    • A career (for some, he actually motivated me to do better, and I achieve more in my career)
    • My body (specifically my perky boobs)

    And the list goes on.

    Looking back at what I just wrote, I realize I am coming off selfish as fuck. Maybe I let my tangent run a little long. My kid is not all that bad. In fact, I’ve received so many blessings having the little guy around. First is unconditional love. The little dude is always happy to see me with my flaws and all. Second, he is kind, polite, and dear I say an empath. Whenever I am feeling down, he just snuggles up to me, rubs my head, and tells me he loves me and that I will be ok. Finally, the kid is just amazing.

    If there was a return policy on kids, I would still keep him. I love my kid more than anything in this world. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my old life sometimes. So, to all moms who feel the same way, I feel you. We are in this together! Let’s just hope our kids turn out okay despite our apparent lack of maternal instincts. However, If I could time travel back to that faithful day, I would probably cancel my booty call and get my ass ready for church.

    Enjoy the randomness

    ~Xiana

  • Foodie Call – Dating for free food!

    A friend once told me that when she was in her early twenties, she used to go on dates just to have a nice meal. She explained that she was so cash strapped that this was her only way to avoid eating cup ramen every night. She said her gentlemen friend got something out of it by enjoying her company and having eye candy on his arm. In return, she’s wined, dined, and had a very active social life. When she told me this, I did what any reasonable person would do. I judged the heck out of her.

     Flash forward to the present time. Gas prices are high, and cost of everything has gone up, and eating out is becoming more of a luxury than a convenience. So, I think about my friend from years ago and her dating for free meals strategy. Looking back at this conversation, I am now curious. How many women (or men) go on dates simply to get a free meal and entertainment?  I’ve even heard of women who go on multiple dates in one week to avoid having to cook for themselves. So, I ask you, have you ever gone on a date just for the free food?

    I am going to be honest; I have. There was this one guy I went on a date with purely because he said he would take me to this great sushi place. And he did, and it was great sushi. But that’s about all there was to him. He wasn’t funny, interesting, or attractive. I just wanted the sushi. And I got it. So, in a way, I guess you could say I used him just as much as he was using me.

    As it turns out, dating for free meals is not uncommon, and some research has been done on the topic. Would you believe there is an actual term for this? It’s called a “foodie call.” Yes, I know; it’s precisely what it sounds like. An article in Social Psychology and Personality Science describes it as dating despite a lack of attraction or real interest to get a free meal.

    As you may have guessed, it is a play on the term “booty call.” Like the booty call, both men and women are guilty of the foodie call. In this article, however, the focus is mainly on women who go on foodie calls. The women who participated in foodie calls are said to score high in Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism. If you’re unfamiliar with those terms, all three are personality traits and make up the “dark triad.” These women are willing to manipulate and use people to get what they want. And what they want is a free meal.

    Of the 708 women interviewed for the study, 23 percent took part in one or more foodie calls, while 77 percent did not. The women who admitted to going on foodie calls also admitted that they did not conform to the traditional gender roles. They wanted what they wanted and would get it, even if it meant using someone else.

    So, there you have it. If you’ve ever gone on a date purely for the free food, you’re not alone. You make exhibit some dark personality traits, but you’re also not a bad person. You may be a little bit manipulative, but that’s okay. We all have our flaws. Personally, I think there’s nothing wrong with going on a foodie call.  If you’re honest about your intentions and the other person is okay with it, then have at it. Just make sure you have a good time and enjoy that free meal. And you’re not alone.

    Enjoy the Randomness!

    ~Xiana